Little Red Riding Hood?
by tsubame7
Summary: This is about a little girl by the name of Red Riding Hood bringing cakes to her grandma. But the girl is actually a boy? O.O


Disclaimer: I don't own FFX-2, it's true…sigh they are so wicked cool! But I bet cha'll know that already. Am I right or, am I right?

Message: Hello! I hope you'll like this thing I've made…and I'd also like to thank The Hyper Al Bhed Jokester for helping me with this…even though I'm not sure where the Jokester helped me with…haha just kidding. It might not be so good but I tried my best. That was so corny tsubame7! Great! Now I'm talking to myself…enjoy the story and please review!

"Little Red Riding Hood?"

One day there was a child, playing dolly but seemed to stop as I said this.

_-Why ever did you stop, my dear?_

"Why the heck am I playing dolly? I'm a boy! I AM NOT GAY! And I'm not your dear!" A little 10-year-old boy by the name of Baralai complained.

He was wearing a baby blue **_dress_** and a red hood. Er something like that anyways…

_-Now, now young one…'heck' is not in your vocabulary. Now please, carry on with what you were doing…_

The boy just glared at the narrator, cough, which is me, cough and sighed exasperatedly.

Then there was a knock at the door.

"Come in!" said Baralai in a gruff voice. Er…but isn't he a ten-year-old? Oh well…

"Oh little Red Riding Hood darling, could you please deliver these cakes to your grandmother?" Le Blanc asked batting her eyelashes while fanning herself.

"Le Blanc, what are you doing here? And my name's not Red Riding Hood! It's Baralai!" Baralai crossed his arms and glared at Le Blanc.

"I'm your Mother, Red Riding Hood…"

"MY MOTHER! What is the meaning of this Narrator?" Baralai glared at me again!

_-Only you can see and hear me dumb-dumb…now stop ruining the story before everyone thinks you've gone crazy!_

"Who's this Narrator?" Le Blanc asked tilting her head to the side.

"No one…" Baralai sighed.

"Here are the cakes and stuff and please give them to grandmother before 12:00…" Le Blanc smiled motherly giving the basket of cakes.

"12:00? I'm not going to a ball or anything Le Blanc…this isn't Cinderella…" Baralai narrowed his eyes at her.

_-Maybe she didn't get the concept…well there's no time to check the script._

"Just come home before 12, love." And with that, Le Blanc pushed Red Riding Hood out of the house and closed the front door. Then Red Riding Hood heard a lot of locking sounds but just shrugged it off.

While Baralai…er…Red Riding Hood was skipping her way-

"Hey, wait a minute! No one told me about skipping!" Baralai's feet were firmly glued to the ground.

_-Who's the Narrator here? (Narrator puts a hand behind her ear.)_

"You are…" Baralai rolled his eyes and continued his walk to his Grandma's humble home.

_-I said skip, boy! SKIP!_

"Geez…I thought the narrator was supposed to have a lot of patience…" Baralai sighed and began chuckles …began snort…began sk-ski…I'm sorry It's just too funny tears rolls down the narrators cheeks

"Would you just continue the story, please!" Baralai rolled his eyes and sighed in frustration.

_-Wait, wait points an index finger in the air just give me a sec. To sink this all in to me until it soon fades. Begins to laugh harder_

"Can you just get to the freakin point!" Baralai put his arms up in the air.

Baralai began **_skipping_** towards his granny's home.

Then he came to a stop and was smiling as he saw flowers all around him.

"What do you pant mean by pant smiling?" Baralai's hands were on his knees as he was trying to catch his breath.

_-Just smile and you'll live longer._

"Is that a threat?" Baralai asked amused.

_-Blah, blah, blah, that's all I hear from you! Now STOP interrupting me!_

Baralai went to the field of flowers and began picking some until a gangster came by.

"A gangster?" Baralai raised a questioning eyebrow.

_-Well if you want to have the whole cast in this story, you must add some scenes…that were unexpected…live with it!_

"Hey little girlie-" A man with blonde hair and an eye patch was interrupted by the little 'girlie'.

"I'm a boy everyone gasps and what are you doing in this story Gippal?" Baralai asked.

"For 100 gil." Gippal smirked.

"Wait a minute! He's getting paid!" Baralai pointed at Gippal. Baralai also noticed Gippal's companions Paine and Tidus having a face, which had blackmail all over, seeing that he was wearing a baby blue dress.

_-Shrugs beat ya to it._

"What are you talking about? You're not making any sense! How can someone beat me into getting paid!" Baralai shouted at poor little ole me.

_-Hey! That Gippal guy can get very persuasive into getting money Outta me! Plus you're ruining the story again! Just let me continue…_

Gippal sighs and continues his interrupted sentence, "Hey little girlie, ("I'm Baralai!") Fine _Baralai_, what are you doing all alone here by the field of flowers?

"You tell me!" Baralai replied flatly.

"Gippal, this little girl ("Boy!")…Er…whatever won't get us anything!" Tidus complained.

"And that's the beauty of it!" Gippal smirked.

"Beauty of what?" Tidus asked confused.

"I don't know…it just says here in the script…" Gippal said showing a piece of paper to Tidus.

_-Narrator smacks forehead with right hand you idiot Gippal!_

Baralai chuckled at the Narrators comment.

"What are you laughing at?" Paine asked with the, tell-me-or-die glare.

"Nothing, it's just that I remembered this moment in my life…" Baralai replied nervously.

"Gippal, why are you trying to disrupt this story again?" Paine asked as she turned around but only saw Tidus shrugging.

"Where's Gippal?" She asked in a threatening tone.

"Don't know…"

Then they heard a noise in the woods…

"I'M NOT RED RIDING HOOD DAMMIT!" Gippal argued with a talking wolf.

"Yes you are! You have blonde hair and an eye patch!" The wolf stated.

Gippal just gaped at what the wolf said, I guess he was too amazed at how dumb this talking wolf can get.

"What's wrong with you?" Gippal shouted.

"Nothings wrong with me, maybe it's just you!" The wolf raised his eyebrows.

"And I thought you were smart for knowing how to actually talk!" Gippal shot back.

"Well no one's perfect!" The wolf stuck out his tongue.

Gippal rolled his eyes. He then heard a noise from behind him and turned around to see Paine, Tidus and Baralai running to him.

"What's happening here?" Tidus asked.

"This wolf thinks I'm Red Riding Hood!" Gippal complained like a little boy beaten up by a bully.

"What kind of name is that?" Paine asked realizing how weird the name sounds.

"Red Riding Hood? So your name is Red and your last name is Hood?" Tidus asked Baralai.

Then, including the wolf, all laughed except for a furious Baralai.

"Stop teasing about my temporary name!" Baralai shouted over the laughter. "And stop making them tease about my temporary name!"

_-Points at herself me? _

Baralai rolls his eyes and leaves the laughing bunch and went to continue **_picking those flowers_**.

"Finally, they're gone!" Baralai sighed as he picked one last flower and continued his 'journey' towards his granny's home.

But then ("Oh no, I don't like the sound of that…" Baralai mumbled) there was another interruption.

"Hey little Red Riding Hood, how are you doing?" Rikku ran up to Baralai and flashed a smile that showed her cute widdle dimples.

"It's BARALAI!" Baralai shouted with anger and frustration.

"Yeah, so what are you doing here?" Rikku asked.

"Bringing these stinkin cakes to my grandmother…" Baralai sighed and continued walking.

"Cakes? Ohh, I love cakes!" Rikku walked right beside him.

"That's nice to hear…"

"Well, I'll go now…bye!" Rikku scampered off to the opposite direction.

Baralai sighed and mumbled, "Where is that freakin house of grandma, it's supposed to be right her- bump"

Baralai bumped on a brick wall and was rubbing his red nose.

"What was that for?" Baralai complained.

_-That's what you get for being…um…let me think of a reason first._

"Whatever!" Baralai knocked on the wooden door and heard a noise inside.

"Who is it?" A gruff voice said from the inside of the house.

"It's me grandmother…Red Riding Hood. I've come to give you some cakes…" Baralai said with a yawn.

_-A little more emotion here please? Narrator is getting annoyed_

"Emotion? I'm not a girl remember?" Baralai shrugged and waited for the reply of the grandmother.

_-Narrator mumbles Then what's that dress you're wearing…chuckles _

"Oh, come in!" The voice said but this time abit gentle.

Baralai opened the door and saw a figure on a bed with the blanket wrapped around the figures body. He went closer and tilted his head to the side saying, "You look so familiar?"

"Er…I'm your grandmother, aren't I supposed to be?" The figure asked wearing a white hat and pink shawl.

"Oh yeah, right…" Baralai put the basket on the bed and finally noticed that it was empty.

_-What happened to the cakes…narrator smirks_

"RIKKU!" He shouted remembering that he felt the basket become lighter when Rikku said that she loved cakes.

"That little thief…" Baralai huffed.

"It's okay Red Riding Hood, as long as you're here…" The figure spoke up.

"Hm…Grandma, you have big eyes and it's not the same color." Baralai stared at the eyes of the figure, which was blue and green.

"Er, for me to um…takes out a piece of paper from under the blanket see you better and I also lost one of my contact lenses…" The figure looked like it was reading the piece of paper.

"You have such big ears, grandma, and they also look fake…did you have plastic surgery for those or something?" Baralai asked.

"Um…they are good to um…hear you with, Red Riding Hood…"

"And what about those teeth of yours grandma, it looks like those fake vampire teeth…or have you just been going to a vampire dentist lately?"

"Well, um…they are good to eat you with!" The figure jumped out of the bed.

Baralai's eyes widened as he saw Yuna with a sheepish grin. The shawl and hat fell on the bed as she jumped out of the bed and she was wearing the berserker dresssphere. (I'm not sure if that's what you call it…I haven't been playing FFX-2 for a while…ehehe)

She was also wearing a, made out of paper, ears and fake vampire teeth as Baralai said.

"Yuna? You're the big bad wolf?" Baralai asked confused and looked at me for an answer.

'_And wasn't there also another wolf in this story…weird.'_

"Well, they ran out of characters for the big bad wolf…so I tried it out." Yuna smiled kindly, which is not supposed to happen since she's supposed to be a big **_BAD_** wolf!

_-Could you tell Yuna to stop it with the smiling…She's supposed to be smirking or chasing you! _

"Well um…I think I should run away from you now…" Baralai said stepping backwards.

"I think you should." Yuna said with that same smile on her face.

Baralai ran out the door and into the woods.

_-Hm…what should happen next? Checks the red riding hood book_

"You mean to tell me that you're just making up the story now?" Baralai asked while looking back to see Yuna running like her usual girlish run, which was a bit slow.

_-Don't blame me! I'm just a kid…oops…sorry Shinra!_

"Wolves don't run like that, right?" Baralai pointed at the style of how Yuna runs.

_-Of course not! Yuna is just Yuna…we tried to teach her how to run like a wolf but it seems that she just couldn't get the hang of it._

"AHHH!" Baralai screamed which was unusually high-pitched.

"What was that?" Baralai asked horrified putting a hand on his throat.

_-I just did a little something to your scream._

"You WHAT?" Baralai shouted and bumped onto someone.

"Red Riding Hood? What are you doing here in the woods?" A man asked.

"Nooj! You! You were the one who killed my father!" Baralai shouted. _'What in the name of Yevon is that Narrator making me say?'_

"No Red Riding Hood ("It's Baralai!"), **_I am you're father!_**" Nooj says in this very low voice that sounded kind of like Darth Vader…(or is that name wrong…see I'm not sure if it's that or Dark Vader. I'm just not sure…ehehe)

"NOOOOOOO!" Baralai yells and shook his head in slow motion. "Wait a minute…you got married to Le Blanc?"

"Sad isn't it…" Nooj shook his head.

_-Haha I just wanted to try that out…_

"Red Riding pant Hood! I've pant finally caught pant up with pant you!" Yuna's right hand was rested on a tree for support so that she won't fall to the ground while the other hand was on her knee.

"That took quite a while…" Baralai muttered.

"Now, I shall try to eat you!" Yuna smiled.

Nooj, Baralai and the Narrator fall down anime style.

_-YUNA YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE SMIRKING! And that line wasn't in the script!_

"She can't hear you!" Baralai whispered to me.

_-I already know that…sigh_

"Don't worry Red Riding Hood, I shall save you from this creature." Nooj brings out his red light saber.

"Where'd you get that?" Yuna asked, which sounded like that voice in this commercial for Barbie's: Fashion Fever. (Haha…er… I'm sorry to those people who didn't see that commercial…ehehe)

Then Yuna brings out her green light saber.

Baralai raises an eyebrow, "How come I don't get one of those?" He whined.

_-Shut up boy and just watch Yuna and The Half Machina fight!_

Nooj swings his light saber and it misses Yuna but somehow Yuna falls to the ground acting dead.

"What kind of fight was that?" Baralai asked in disappointment because he at least wanted to see some action in this story.

_-Hey! This is a comedy; it also means that no one **really** dies!_

"Whatever…" Baralai rolled his eyes and went towards grandma's house.

In grandma's house…

"Do you know where grandma could be?" Nooj asked with his cold voice.

"She's in the cupboard…" Baralai sighed and sat on grandma's bed waiting for Nooj to help grandma get down from the cupboard.

_-You're supposed to find her! Darn it, why'd I make you read the book…_

As Nooj opened the cupboard something fell down and it was Brother!

"Brother? You're my grandma?" Baralai asked disgusted.

"Nat Netehk Ruut! Oui'na rana! (Red Riding Hood! You're here!)" Brother said in a high-pitched voice and clapped his hands in joy.

"G-grandma you're face is so ugly! Did the wolf bite your face or something? And I can't understand you…" Baralai complained.

"Ur Nat Netehk Ruut, E'ja seccat oui cu silr! (Oh Red Riding Hood, I've missed you so much!)" Brother exclaimed while hugging Baralai but Baralai pulled away and had disgusted written all over his face.

"Stop it!" Baralai ran around the house being chased by his Grandmother while Nooj just watched amused.

And everyone lived happily ever af-

"Narrator! Don't you dare say that stupid line!" Baralai growled.

_-How'd you get here?_

"You left the door open…" Baralai pointed to the door leading to the room where the computer was.

_-Where'd Brother go?_

"I took care of him…" Baralai smirked.

_-Baralai! Stop looking at me like that!_

"It's payback time!" Baralai said with a you-are-so-gonna-be-dead-now-that-I've-got-you-cornered grin.

_-Let's be reasonable…I didn't mean all that things I've said and made you do!_

Then Baralai gets the computer and breaks it.

_-WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO MY COMPUT-_

tsubame7 is now offline


End file.
